Who am I doing this for?

I have set myself the goal for this year of finding out what I want to do to earn money and under what conditions.
Most of the ideas and projects that inspire me and that I want to implement are aimed at helping other people or strenghthening the sense of community. This also means public awareness and cooperation with other people.
My problem is that I can’t distinguish who I’m doing project xy for. When I have an idea for a project, after the initial euphoria comes the question of whether I really want to do it (for myself). Or whether I’m only doing it for the approval of others. Until now, this has always led to me not pursuing the projects any further. To give some background information:
I have PMDD and probably ADHD. I tend to make my worth dependent on external validation. The ideas and euphoria usually come in the first half of the cycle, then the doubts in the second. And even though I am aware of how the cycle and especially PMDD can influence my perception, I just don’t know if I can trust myself. Soon after I have come up with a project worth investing in, my brain tells me that I am not doing this for myself. But the type of projects that interest me (social activism, community service) are meant to help other people and therefore inherently bring external validation or at least some public awareness.
So my question is, how to find out if I really want this?

 

 

Answer:

My problem is that I can’t distinguish who I’m doing project xy for.  So, what?  Why does it matter what your motivation is? Loads of people do things for external validation.  What are you making it mean if you do?

Our brains are designed to conserve energy. They will do anything to keep us where we are. Brains also don’t like uncertainty.  The only problem I see is your brain is really good at this, and you’re believing what it offers you. This state of indulging in indecision feels uncomfortable is a KNOWN uncomfortable. Our unconscious brain will choose that all day, every day.

In order to make change, we have to be willing to choose and uncomfortable that gets us closer to our goals.  You find out if you really want this by taking action towards it. Open up to all the new uncomfortable things that will bring are like a treasure trove. Listen to your inner wisdom.  Take the next step. We’re here to support you.