Work and feeling the need to escape part two

Why do I want to change my work circumstance.

-I don’t feel in control
-I feel activated as though I am trapped
-I don’t think women on my team are respected including challenges of being a mother and working
-I don’t feel the same sense of connection to the work or mission as I did in other jobs
-I’m being underpaid
-the surrounding local community and culture feels exclusive and unsupportive

Why don’t I want to change my circumstance
-my boss is overall flexible
-work from home which allows me more time with family
-I enjoy some of the projects where I get to be more creative and learn new things
-I get to collaborate with other professionals who get me thinking

Why would living in the woods and doing something completely independent not be ok?
-fear I could not support my family
-lack of direction on what else I would do
-I would miss opportunities for connection
-I am a good leader

What would I be avoiding by living in the woods?
-all the discomfort that goes with those items listed above

After answering the questions I realized a lot of what I am feeling is a nervous system reaction around not feeling in control. And now that I think about it, I even named that in the title -I feel like escaping because I feel trapped.

I also grew up with pretty toxic work relationships being modeled for me and I think I try so hard sometimes to not be like my mom (whose choices around work were so unhealthy they continue to affect all areas of her functioning) that I am quick to see red flags.

I think I need to start working towards seeing this nervous system response as neither good or bad but just as information. By simply noting this and getting curious about it I am already taking a healthier approach.

If I am able to start to notice more specific instances of being activated and feeling trapped, what are some good questions to ask from there?

An additional dynamic I feel is genuinely at play here is that I really value working inside my integrity. When systemic issues arise that have negative impacts on others I feel like I am truly thrown off from meeting my life’s mission. However, It is currently easier for me to say what’s not in my mission vs actually being able to articulate what is my mission. How can I start to shift this energy?

 

Answer:

Beautiful work you’ve done here. Celebrate yourself for being willing to explore this. As you continue noticing your nervous system reactions, you may want to ask How can I best support myself? Why am I feeling activated/trapped? Be open to letting your reasons evolve.

Why is it a problem you can’t yet articulate your mission? Start with what you have and be open to formulating the rest as you move forward.

You can even put “I start to shift my energy around my mission” in your result line and see what the rest of an intentional model would look like.  What do you think?