Work and new business part 2

Thank you so much for this. The prompts were super-helpful in getting me to reflect on the situation.
I realised that fear (of not having enough money) was the main reason for me wanting to accept the job. It was coming from a scarcity mindset (if I don’t take this job then nothing else will come along). It was really helpful to re-visit the money mindset workshop and workbook (I didn’t cry completing it this time, so something has definitely shifted!). I realised that I engage in a lot of catastrophising and thought errors about work and money. For instance:

“If I don’t take this job, we’ll be destitute”
“If I’m not working myself to exhaustion, I’m being lazy”
“If I can’t completely replace my income by September then there’s no point in trying”

I definitely now ‘know my numbers’ and did a new budget for no job (scary, my thought is “we’d struggle to survive”) and part-time job (limiting but manageable for a short time).

I chose September as it’s when my contract runs out. I thought that would be a good time to leave but you’ve helped me realise that I’m putting too much pressure on myself and allowed myself the possibility of being flexible and for other options to arise. No sooner had I made that decision than a text from my old PhD supervisor arrived, asking if I was available to potentially do some part-time work with them from August for a year. My body immediately said ‘yes’ and felt so different to the way I felt with the other job offer. This is not guaranteed (it’s dependent on the outcome of a grant application) but I think I could make that work alongside setting up my business. I think another reason I chose September is that I don’t trust myself to keep working towards my goal otherwise. I was coached on this by Maisie recently because I set myself the goal of leaving by now a year ago and had made little progress towards it. I’m trying to think of way of not getting sucked back into academic work and keeping my dream alive. I have turned down the other job and am now sitting in the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen after September. Some thoughts I’ve been using to help with this are:

“I’ve been in this position several times before and something always comes along”
“I can find another job outside of academia to pay the bills for a short time if I need to”
“I have lots of transferrable skills”
“Just because I’m feeling exhausted and sick now, doesn’t mean this will last forever”

I have also had some ideas for my business, booked myself onto facilitator training in a month and have had an enquiry from a colleague about the possibility of me facilitating some workshops for them. This feels exciting but also scary – I don’t know how to price for it. I’m worried that my lack of experience will show; I don’t have a website, or anything set up and feel like a bit of a fraud!
Would love to hear your thoughts on the above.

Thanks again.

 

 

Answer:

First of all, we’re celebrating all these insights with you! You have allowed yourself to explore even when things feel scary. That’s really, really cool.  And how amazing to get that phone call.  Now, you may think that it’s coming from your PhD supervisor, but it might be fun to explore how you actually created that result for yourself.

Watch out for when your brain wants to say “I don’t know.”  What does your model look like when you believe that?  Who would you be without that thought.  Here’s a trick you can use…you just make it up.  Do a bit of research if you’d like but in the end, just pick something.

As for the rest of it with a website, etc….explore what your unintentional beliefs are about having your own business and making money. It sounds like you have a list of things needed to be legitimate.  What if you’re wrong about that? See what you find. Exciting and scary sounds just right for getting what you want.