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Work Issue 2

Hello,
I have been trying to write an unintentional model about a work issue, but I’m struggling with the result line.
The SENCo at a school I visit made a formal complaint about my professional recommendations for a child, which had been signed off by a senior colleague. I discussed this with senior colleagues and was reassured that my recommendations were appropriate. At a later date I raised concerns about school staff’s lack of awareness/time keeping for the child’s session. The SENCo then made a complaint about my lack of flexibility and raised concerns that I was taking her first complaint personally. I was then asked to apologise to keep the peace.
C – Someone made a complaint about me and I was asked to apologise
T – I shouldn’t have to apologise. I’ve done nothing wrong
F – Injustice
S – Tension in my jaw, heat in my chest
A – Complain, raise my voice, exhale, wake up early in the morning, ruminate, people please, apologise
R – I apologise when I haven’t done anything wrong?
I would be really grateful for your feedback.
Thank you

 

 

Answer:

 

You’ve done a great first draft of a model! Here are a few observations that I have:
  1. Let’s try to keep the C line as neutral as possible. What I’m seeing it could be distilled into is, “SENCo’s actions and being asked to apologize”. What do you think about that?
  2. Secondly, in your T line, keep it simple with one thought only. Right now there are two, and I’d say that the model you’ve created is largely about your first one, “I shouldn’t have to apologize.” You can do two models that might be very similar, but in both cases, keep one sentence in each T line.
  3. I would like to offer this as an R line for the model with the thought, “I shouldn’t have to apologize: “I stay stuck in this model.”
I wonder whether there is another layer here. Why is it a problem for you to feel injustice? What does it mean for or about you or this situation? Notice what thoughts your brain offers up and write them down. Is there a way you think you should feel or an action that you think should have been taken instead of them asking you to apologize? Again, write this all down.
When you take a look at your list, notice where you are with your emotions and any physical sensations. Bring back your questions and/or your realizations so we can continue coaching into next steps.