Work Issue 2 Part 2

Thank you so much for your feedback. Your suggestion for the R line was so helpful!

Here is a second draft of the model:
C – SENCos actions and being asked to apologise
T – I shouldn’t have to apologise
F – Injustice
S – Tension in my jaw, heat in my chest
A – Complain, raise my voice, exhale, wake up early in the morning, ruminate, people please, apologise
R – I stay stuck in this model

Why is feeling injustice a problem? What does it mean for/about me/this situation?
– It’s not fair
– I feel like the SENCo is getting away with doing her job poorly
– Injustice feels uncomfortable
– I find it difficult to have confrontations at work and still feel professional
– It feels frustrating
– I’m not being listened to
– I don’t feel supported
– The bigger picture/someone else’s feelings are being prioritised over my feelings
– I think the SENCo has interpreted my apology as an admission that I was in the wrong
– No one is on my side

Is there an action I think should have been taken instead of being asked to apologise?
I think my supervisor should have mediated a conversation between the SENCo and me. This is something that was suggested initially but then withdrawn because she didn’t want to ‘blow it out of proportion’. This is also something that she has facilitated in the past in a similar situation and it was really helpful. I have agreed to discuss this further in my next supervision session.

I think there is another layer here around not feeling valued and listened to. This is a theme that has come up a lot in therapy in relation to my parents.

 

Answer:

 

It’s good to know that the new R line fits well for you. I wonder what it was like to just acknowledge these things for yourself – the reasons why feeling injustice is a problem, and what should have been done instead of what was done – without judgment.

While we can have expectations of others about how we should be valued and listened to, others are not obligated to meet them. As much as it sucks when other people don’t act how we want them to or think they should, what people do is a C line. What we think about it is elective. If you desire to be listened to and valued, get curious about how you can listen to and value yourself in this situation where it stands now? If you’re ready, try filling in this intentional model…(I’ve guessed at the R line)…

C: SENCo actions and being asked to apologize (you could even tack on “next supervision session” if you want)
T:
F:
S:
A:
R: I listen to and value myself…

Bring back what comes up for you or what you think about this and let’s keep exploring it.