Working with unhelpful thoughts around burnout

Hi there! I am currently on partial sick leave from my research job & PhD (working 20%) due to burnout symptoms. I did a massive thought download and picked up some of the most pervasive and unhelpful thoughts I have about my burnout and the recovery process, and coached myself. I am stuck on some of the intentional models, and would love some feedback and help on all of them. I’m also open to other helpful thoughts if you have any to offer. I’ll share a few models here, hope that’s ok! Thank you 🙂

UM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work.
T: I’m stupid for not asking for help earlier on.
F: Worthless.
A: Beat myself up; despair; spiral; not focus on restorative, helpful things; buffer & procrastinate.
R: I confirm to myself that I am not to be trusted ensuring my own recovery.

IM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work.
T: I have been taking care of myself the best way I know how.
F: Caring.
A: I give myself grace; rest when I need to; asking for help when I know what to ask for; not beating myself up; communicating my needs with others; try to feel out what my body and nervous system need.
R: I take care of myself.

//

UM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work.
T: I am a financial burden on my company.
F: Guilty.
A: I stress out about not making billable hours; I take on more than I can currently handle; I pretend I’m doing better than I am.
R: I get in the way of my own recovery & ability to return to work.

IM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work.
T: My company has profited off of 7 years of my work. / The company has insurance and financial buffers for sick leave. / Companies are not family. My supervisors and colleagues may care about my wellbeing, the ‘company’ does not. / The working conditions at the company have contributed to my being ill. / It is not my responsibility to worry about the financial health of the company.
F: What do I want to feel? Lightness, relief, unburdened.
A: I focus on my recovery & accept whatever trajectory that takes. I do the work that feels good, and stop when I feel overstretched.
R: I support my own recovery & ability to return to work.

//

UM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work.
T: It’s my own fault that I got burnt out.
F: Worthless.
A: I stay in a pit of despair; I don’t help myself; procrastinate & buffer.
R: I reinforce my burnt out state/feeling.

IM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work.
T: It is not my fault that I got burnt out. / I did hard things for a very long time. / I did the best I could with the resources available to me.
F: Self-compassion.
A: I care for myself. I examine where the issues were & look for alternative approaches.
R: I support my own healing & growth.

//

UM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work & my PhD.
T: I failed, I should have been able to do it all.
F: Worthless.
A: Beat myself up; think about all the things I did not achieve and milestones I did not reach; think about quitting but make it mean bad things about me; procrastinate & buffer.
R: I am unable to make progress and go back to working on PhD tasks.

IM:
C: I’m on partial sick leave from work & my PhD.
T: This is my body telling me to do things differently. / I have the power to change my approach to my work and my PhD (and life).
F: Curious.
A: I explore what did not work and how I could approach things differently. I accept that healing takes time. I trust that I will be able to get back to work and PhD eventually (if I want to) & trust experts who tell me this. I accept help. I don’t put pressure on myself to do finish the PhD, or to do things perfectly.
R: I build self-trust and capacities that help me approach things differently.

 

Answer:

You’ve got some beautiful models here, well done. As you look at them, just check in with yourself. What intentional thoughts feel good? What resonates? What do you already believe and which ones seem like a stretch? There are no right answers or perfect models to “fix” your circumstance right now. It just is. You get to decide where you want to put your energy as you heal.

I would offer that you try some intentional models where you start with the feeling of worthy. Most of your unintentional models have you feeling worthless. What if you could turn that around and tell a different story?

What if how many hours you are working today means nothing about your value?

What do you think?